Your Concept of Who You Are Is F***ing You Up (Mark Manson on Impact Theory)

Mark Manson makes a lot of great points about identity in this Impact Theory interview. I love what he says about asking yourself who you would be if you did not value certain things in your life… This is one exercise that I’ve found a lot of success with, both with myself and with my clients…

I also totally agree that it’s accurate to think of your relationship with yourself in the same way as you would think about your relationship with another person, and when you break away from one of the values it’s as if you’ve broken up with someone. What he didn’t mention is that each of us have created several separate identities that live inside us, each with their own sets of values – and so we literally do have many relationships (good and not so good) continuously developing within ourselves.

He also touches upon narrative theory a little, when he talks about peeling back the clusters of stories we’ve absorbed as our identities. He didn’t go very deep into this topic, though – maybe because there’s just so much there. The stories we live by form an extremely prominent aspect of who we believe we are and how we behave.

The only thing I disagree with in this interview is when he says that “identity change, by definition, needs to be painful and uncomfortable.” I understand why he says this, but it’s way too general of a statement. Our identities are in continuous free-flowing flux, whether we are working for big shifts or not. I’ve personally seen incredible identity changes occur in just minutes – and the experiences were in fact enjoyable – even blissful, in some cases.

That’s all for my commentary now, though… I’ll let you enjoy the interview for yourself…